It Can Happen To Any Woman!

I was married to an attorney who seemed charming and kindly prior to our marriage. We married later in life and we planned to have children. Soon after the marriage, he became verbally, psychologicaly, financially and physically abusive. When I became pregnant, he demanded an abortion and if I didn't terminate the pregnancy, he was going to divorce me and "take the baby from me". I was able to separate from him after a particularly vicious assault during which I called the police, he was arrested and ultimately convicted of domestic violence.

Then, the abuse started in earnest, but this time in the court system and with great help from the judiciary. He started sexually and psychologically abusing my 3 year old son during court-ordered visitation and, despite several investigations by Child Protective Services, the judge refused to intervene. Finally, my husband offered me sole custody in exchange for a large financial settlement, ownership of our house, no child support, and a reversal of his domestic violence conviction. I took it!

The part of my story that took me a lot of self-education and time to figure out is that I didn't fit the stereotype I held of the DV "victim". I am a physician, highly educated, without a family history of violence. Before I met my husband, I thought violence happened to other people. I couldn't have been more wrong.

My son and I have been blessed by having access to support services that are an amazing source of validation and healing. He attends play therapy and I attend a support group. The funding of such services have been greatly cut back and some completely eliminated. I am in the minority in that I had the financial resources to escape, set up a safe household for me and my son, and counter a legal onslaught by my wealthy abuser. What can the majority of women and children do to protect themselves without help from social services?

In a bigger sphere, what can we do as a society to vastly improve the criminal justice response to domestic violence and further, to increase awareness and education into the legal system as well as introduce accountability to a judiciary that in many cases perpetuates the abuse and re-vicitmization?

Another sad story

I was battered by my baby father the man that I so called loved dearly.  He used to promise me that we would not hit me again.  Cause I used to pack my kids up and leave my house when he was gone.  But he always knew what to say to get me back.  He couldn't have really loved me because I have caught him getting ready to cheat 4 or 5 times.  Yes it hurts because I am still with him.  I want to leave but I can't.  I am not as strong as most of these women.

Courage To Change The Things I Can...

I am a 45 year old divorced mother of three. My children are now 26, 22 and 17. At the age of 19, I fell in love with and married the man I thought would be my "knight in shining armor", and we would have children and live happily ever after. So much for fairytale endings. We had three children together, but unfortunately, he turned out to be an alcoholic, who beat us up emotionally on a regular basis. Every time I picked up the courage to leave him, he would lie and tell me he would change.

Finally, after seeking help through publicly funded services for women, and enduring 16 years of abuse, I successfully, took the children, and filed for divorce. We resided at a low-income housing project nearby and I wish I could say things got better, but that isn't so. It was in December, almost a year after I left him, I was raped and sodomized by two men, who apparantly singled me out as an easy target. Needless to say, I reported this to our small town police and I received no help from them. However, the public services that were available to me, helped me to realize I am a survivor and although I can't change what has already happened in my life, eight years after the tragedy, I am still involved in services provided to help women like me survive the brutal, life altering effects of abuse and rape.

It is because of these programs, I now realize, it takes courage to change the things I can. With this knowledge, I am willing to influence lawmakers to please continue funding, and I encourage all women who fall victim to abuse, violence or rape, to seek help, to develop the courage that is needed in order to survive.

"The things we do to women"

I was a paramedic for eighteen years, and I've seen the horrors committed against women, both physical and mental, and both. Only last night I read a story that even now makes me cry. A woman in Florida I believe, having just made love to her husband just wanted to cuddle, and he killed her by beating her to death because her desire got in the way of some sports event on TV. I rarely tell about my past, but I was an Army Ranger during the Nam and bringing tears down my face is a difficult job, but this did it.

"The things we do to women." A quote from "President Bartlett" on the series; "West Wing."

bless all your hearts!!

tedbohne

Lost childhood...

If you ask me now how I spent my childhood I couldn't answer you...all I remember is being afraid of my dad and never wanting to be home. He drank and he was obnoxious and he beat me, seemingly for sport. My uncle sexually molested me for about 4 years between the ages of 5 and 9.

I married to get out of the house, I married someone like my father...

Now I am alone and happy, healthy and safe. This is a sad thing to say but now, when I meet someone new, at the first sign of anger or intolerance I bolt out of that relationship as fast as I can. Oh, and by the way, my 30 year old daughter has let out, finally, that 2 of my old friends sexually molested her and she was too afraid to tell me. Her recently ex husband is in jail for spousal abuse. She has been left alone, to manage a household and 3 little kids. Why is this a part of a woman's life? Who teaches men that this is ok?

My Experience with Sexual Assault

Most girls begin developing an interest in boys at 13. For me, it was the age at which I started to fear them. I let my early adolescent emotions override my usual logic and allowed myself to enter a relationship with an 18 year old boy. Thinking that he honestly cared for me, I didn't think twice when he led me into a hotel room one night. I had no idea the most traumatic experience of my life was about to take place. I was raped, but that's not where it ended. The sexual abuse was followed with months of verbal and emotional abuse that took all the strength a 13 year old girl could have to escape. Now, at 17, I've experienced way too many unhealthy relationships and have been set back by this trauma during what should be the most exciting and memorable dating years of my life.

I signed the petition because, as much as I hate to think about it, I know that other women have felt the pain and dealt with the horrors that have plagued me for all these years. I can't let it happen to my daughters. Neither can you.

Ms.

Hello, My name is Edna of Detroit. I signed this petition because, I am a survivor of a very violent relationship. I have been beat over a hundred times and the man who did this was a drug user. Knowing that it was time for me to get away from this, I had to relocate while he was away. Until this day, I still live in constant fear of this man finding me. That is why we need people to finally put their feet down and put an end to this madness. And for the women of this type of madness, get away while you can possibly can. Get help! Don't think that he loves you. LOVE DOES NOT HURT!