Reasons to leave

My story is not horrendous and has a happy ending. It wasn't until after my step-father died last year that my mother finally told me something I had long suspected about her first marriage. One night when I was still a baby, my mom came home late from a visit with her sister. My "biological" father, angry at her for daring to come in late, struck her. Despite having few places to go in their small town, my mother decided right then she would never let him have another chance to do that to her or me (I still have scars where he "accidently" burned me with a cigarette). She packed what she could quickly, picked me up, and left. For the next several months, he tried to harrass her, watching her every move, threatening to get me back, accusing her of being an unfit mother, etc. In court, it came out that he had not paid child support and he was given the choice of paying or giving me up completely. We never saw or heard from him again. He died 12 years later. A few months after the court dispute, Mom remarried and we moved several states away.

I am so very grateful that my mother chose to leave. While her second marriage wasn't perfect, it lasted almost 47 years, and my stepfather never treated me as anything other than his own. Had we stayed, would I have gotten the medical treatment we later learned I would need for a congenital hip problem (inherited from the first father)? Would I have been able to go to college and become a teacher. Would I have ever met my wonderful husband?

Sucker Punched

I was six months pregnant with my second child when my now ex-husband punched me in the fetus! He never hit me before that. I layed down on the couch and start experiencing contractions. I was 20 years old. The year was 1976. Luckily, the contractions stopped and I went on to carry the baby full term, and the newborn was alright.

My husband abused me. He was abusive to the children. It took awhile, but I got out with our children.

If you are like me and you have children, and only 20 years old, just leave; if not for yourself, do it for your children, because you are the only adult in the situation and they can not do it for themselves.

I am a survivor

I am a survivor no longer a victim, it took a few years to get the nerve to leave...I was so sure that I would not survive the actual leaving...terrified was more the word...but I was so terrified to TRY to leave...it has been 13 years since I left...I am living...surviving...he is dead, he actually shot himself in the head - I have no doubt that if I had stayed I would now also be in my grave...I thank God for the strength He gave me to RUN out of that situation...if you are in a similar situation don't try to understand why it is happening, don't try to fix it...you cant.....just GO...if someone you love is in that situation, don't stop being there for them ...they need your support...most of all your prayers....

Because It's the right thing

I'm still in high school, but I can see two friends of mine getting closer and closer to being in abusive relationships. Try as I might, I can't seem to show them that they deserve healthy relationships. So I signed because I can protect them that way. I signed because those who are violent to women are often violent to children, who grow up to perpetuate that cruelty. I signed because it's time to stop the chain of abuse and because we could all be doing more. I signed because it's the right thing.

Look Beyond The Surface

I'm 40, white, middle class, intelligent, and a former Victim Advocate with a specialty in aiding sexual assault victims.
I've also been physically, sexually, and emotionally assaulted by domestic partners more times than I can count. Called the cops. Been to the hospital.

This is happening everywhere in our society, and it must be because we are allowing it.

It's time for it to STOP.

We All Have To Be A Part of the Answer

I grew up not knowing a lot about domestic violence. My second job was at a battered women's shelter. Sixteen years later, I am still there. During that time I've seen tragedies happen to many families. I also have seen many triumphs. The people who escape these abusive situations are the strongest people I've ever met. The VAWA act has had a positive impact on the women I've worked with.

People don't want to get involved because it "isn't any of their business." Not being informed is a way of not getting involved. My parents tried protecting me by not letting me know about the bad that existed in the world. I too became involved with an abusive man. He was not physically abusive, instead he was emotionally abusive. I felt I had to stay in the marriage since I wasn't a quitter. Here was a woman who worked with battered women but couldn't see the cycle in her own life. I understand denial and low self-esteem since I had to conquer them myself. My abuser would have probably hit me at some point, but luckily I left --12 years later.

We must educate our children, our friends, and our community to stop this epidemic. Our voices need to be heard at the local, state and national level. Men and women must unite to fight against this domestic terrorism that plagues our nation. Stand up and speak out!

The lasting effects of violence against women

I was born into a family of violence. My mom has a rare eye disease that has prevented her from driving. My dad was a abusive alcoholic. He didn't know how to deal with life so he often took his stress out on my mother. He beat her, tried to shoot her time and time again. Family was not allowed to visit. My mom was the perfect prisoner. We were imprisoned in our own home for 3 years. My mom left him eventually and found another abusive man. There wasn't much help around the small town I grew up in. My mom didn't know her options. She just realized one day that we would die in that home.

The Violence Against Women Act is crucial in preventing and helping women escape abuse and stay away from it. My mom and sister continue the cycle of abuse. They live and love abusive men because they do not believe in themselves. As for me I fear and distrust men. VAWA is important in the aspect that education is key to ending violence and programs are crucial in helping the victims deal with violence. I am a strong advocate of self improvement and feel no shame in telling my story anymore. I am very proud to say I got up one night and walked out. Walked out for good and spend every day working for women's rights. Very closely with Amnesty as a matter of fact.